How to behave with mom?
Relations with the mother of many people are not always kindred warm, tender and light, as we would like. Mothers, children themselves, or both sides are at fault at the same time.
Let's find out how to build a good relationship with your mom.
Consider this question on the part of the child, let's talk about how to properly behave with your mother, and also give some tips to the daughter-in-law about how to build a relationship with her mother-in-law - the mother of her husband.
How to deal with mom: tips for children
Mom, whatever she is, should at least be respected for what she gave life, raised and raised as she could. Yes, mothers are completely different - from women who don’t care for their children, control every step, do everything for them, to those who just gave birth to their child and practically didn’t bring him up, believing that the provision of material benefits is sufficient . However, most of us live in average families, and the problems of these families are also often the same, so some general advice can be made for children:
- Accept your mother as she is. Each person is individual, each has its own advantages and disadvantages, and mother is no exception. You are from different generations, so conflicts and disputes are most likely inevitable. Both you and your mother in this case need to learn how to understand and accept each other as you are. Out of understanding grows respect for each other, and out of respect - love. Do not criticize, just accept as a fact that your mother is different, she has her own values and ideas about this world.
- It is difficult to build a good relationship without communication. If you live separately and call your mother only for March 8, Birthday and New Year, then what kind of intimate relationship can you talk about? Many mothers miss their children very much, but they understand that they have no right to interfere in their adult life, therefore they quietly suffer alone, rejoicing at every call of their child, even if it is just a duty greeting on the holiday. Call your mom more often, and better come, especially if she is not young - after all, the years have taken their toll, and you never predict when your mother will leave you forever. Appreciate the moments together.Talk with your mom about different things, not just about what is usually customary to communicate with relatives. She will be pleased with such attention, especially as a more adult person, she can teach you a lot and a lot of good things to advise.
- Take care. Mom raised you up, spent a lot of time and effort on it. Why don't you take care of her a little? Find out what your mom needs, and try to help whenever possible.
How to behave with the mother-in-law
We should also talk about how to behave with the husband's mother. If the son in the family is the only one, the mother loves her son very much or she has some kind of internal complexes, then she can begin to be jealous of her child for the daughter-in-law. From here - discontent, comparison with the former girls, perhaps, even persecution, just to get rid of the "rival" as soon as possible. If you are in such a situation, do not fall for the mother-in-law's provocations, calmly react to her attacks, do not swear, do not insult her either in her presence or when she is not around. It is better to maintain a peaceful relationship at a distance. If you cannot love her, then at least try to understand and begin to respect - this is necessary.And if everything is not so sad, and there is an opportunity to build normal and even close relations with the mother-in-law, follow these tips:
- No matter how great you all live together under one roof, the situation of “two housewives in the same kitchen” can lead to minor conflicts, inconveniences, etc., even if the relationship is very good. Therefore, it is still better to live separately, and to visit her mother-in-law.
- Determine the behavior in relation to mother-in-law's middle ground. Be a living, natural person, but avoid extremes: a squeezed, silent gray mouse, which cannot bind two words, and dashing, talkative giggling are bad options. It is better to be moderately sociable, to be interested in the life of the mother-in-law, to talk a little about yourself - everything should be in moderation. In any case, you need to be polite and tactful. Avoid insincerity and hypocrisy.
- There are two paths to the mother-in-law's heart. The first way: it can be turned into a friend. The mother-in-law is not only her husband’s mother, but an individual who has her own interests, hobbies, etc. Find out what interests her, what she might admire, and join her interests. In the future, if everything goes well, you will have close and trusting relationships. The second way: to make her your main adviser.Many mothers-in-law like to climb into the life of the young, instruct, teach. She will be pleased if you ask her for advice about the house, to be interested in what and how to do, etc. This is only for your benefit, listen, remember, use your mustache! But if her care becomes excessive, let her know that you appreciate her advice, listen to them, but you will still do as you see fit, because you are already a separate family. And to back up your case, give her an example of her relationship with her mother-in-law - what was she like? The main thing is to present your point of view correctly.
- There is a relationship between mother and son, and they are not always smooth. Conflicts and disputes between them are their business, do not interfere in them, if you are not asked, let them decide their own affairs. Also, be careful of criticizing your husband in the presence of his mother - it is not known how this can affect you.
- Do not be jealous of your husband for your mother, do not forbid him to communicate with her and help her. However, make sure that he does not become a mama's son.
- Well, finally, so that she stops worrying about her boy, show her that you are doing well.Become a good wife, arrange a house and invite her to visit. Let her make sure that her son made the right choice.